Wednesday, November 5, 2008

chiaroscuro

I am not quite sure why some thoughts come at night. Perhaps I do. It is late, it is quiet (because all normal people are in bed or in bed), and the flurry of activity from the day has subsided and we are left with our thoughts. I have my tea, the rain, and here are my thoughts.

This world is fallen. I get to see a lot of that now working at WES, working with people whose lives and hearts are darkened, whose minds have been blinded to the light of the Gospel and the glory of Christ. It is these we are called to most to preach to--these who are perishing. The question remains how to not lose heart when confronted with such darkness and to whom our Gospel is veiled. How can we shine with the light of Christ when we feel the darkness creeping in ourselves? When we are such fragile jars of clay, and when the reality of this world feels crushing.

2 Corinthians 4. To show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us--we who are hard pressed, perplexed, persecuted, and struck down. We are also not crushed, not in despair, not abandoned, and not destroyed. How can we, as weak and sinful people, hold these two truths in balance? How do we not lose hope--how can we be realistic about the world, see it for what it is, and not lose heart?

With the spirit of faith, Paul tells us. We both believe and speak. Not because we understand, or because we *feel* hopeful, but because we cling to the Truth and know that nothing besides it is steadfast. Because we know that the One who raised the Lord Jesus from the dead will also raise us with Jesus and present us with you in His presence. All this for your benefit, so that the Grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God.

All this for our benefit? At the moment, the benefits seem to be outweighed by the pain of this world. The sin that runs rampant. The trials that we see every day and are helpless to stop or alleviate. Thankfully, neither Jesus nor His apostle denies this reality--they address it. "Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all."

If we think about it, this has amazing potential. As pressing as our current troubles seem to us now, if they are light and momentary when taken in contrast to the eternal glory that awaits us--what Glory that will be! If it makes us look back and feel like it was worth it, that it was fleeting and purposeful, that indeed merits our hope. The difficulty lies in remembering this truth in the midst of suffering. Clinging to not what we can feel, what is tangible, but what has enduring truth. And the endlessly frustrating part of this is that there is precious little we can do to get to that place ourselves. All we are capable is crying "Abba, Father!" and trusting that He hears the words our groans fail to express. I find the hardest thing is seeing other people suffer and feeling helpless to intercede. I can trust for myself, but trusting for others--particularly when they are not reaching out in trust--the most difficult of trials.

So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. This holds so much weight, but when the weight lies in the unseen it can be hard to feel. When all we see is the weight of sin and depravity, we have to cling to the light of the Gospel that much more tightly because there is nothing left to cling to. Our present, sinful, fallen and dark reality is temporary. It is. We may *feel* crushed, abandoned, destroyed and in despair. But we have a Savior who is more trustworthy and more powerful than the way we feel, and goodness knows our hearts are easily blinded. We even choose to pull the veil over them because that is easier to believe. Jesus never promised that things would be easy, or painless, or free of trial. He is straight with us, and He meets difficulty with light and hope in Him. Indeed, if He could be raised from the dead, is there anything He can't do? Can He not meet that person's heart, stubborn and hard as it may be, and soften it? Hallelujah, He can. And He does. And that is why we do not lose hope. That is how we can have Realistic Hope, for ourselves and for others. We see the world for what it truly is, and *know* (not just feel) that the eternal unseen and the glory we will have there outweighs it. Praise Him.

Crisis of Confidence

I stumbled across this speech this evening, and thought it was poignant and relevant to things today.

Jimmy Carter delivered this televised speech on July 15, 1979.

"Good evening. This is a special night for me. Exactly three years ago, on July 15, 1976, I accepted the nomination of my party to run for president of the United States.

I promised you a president who is not isolated from the people, who feels your pain, and who shares your dreams and who draws his strength and his wisdom from you.

During the past three years I've spoken to you on many occasions about national concerns, the energy crisis, reorganizing the government, our nation's economy, and issues of war and especially peace. But over those years the subjects of the speeches, the talks, and the press conferences have become increasingly narrow, focused more and more on what the isolated world of Washington thinks is important. Gradually, you've heard more and more about what the government thinks or what the government should be doing and less and less about our nation's hopes, our dreams, and our vision of the future.

Ten days ago I had planned to speak to you again about a very important subject -- energy. For the fifth time I would have described the urgency of the problem and laid out a series of legislative recommendations to the Congress. But as I was preparing to speak, I began to ask myself the same question that I now know has been troubling many of you. Why have we not been able to get together as a nation to resolve our serious energy problem?

It's clear that the true problems of our Nation are much deeper -- deeper than gasoline lines or energy shortages, deeper even than inflation or recession. And I realize more than ever that as president I need your help. So I decided to reach out and listen to the voices of America.

I invited to Camp David people from almost every segment of our society -- business and labor, teachers and preachers, governors, mayors, and private citizens. And then I left Camp David to listen to other Americans, men and women like you.

It has been an extraordinary ten days, and I want to share with you what I've heard. First of all, I got a lot of personal advice. Let me quote a few of the typical comments that I wrote down.

This from a southern governor: "Mr. President, you are not leading this nation -- you're just managing the government."

"You don't see the people enough any more."

"Some of your Cabinet members don't seem loyal. There is not enough discipline among your disciples."

"Don't talk to us about politics or the mechanics of government, but about an understanding of our common good."

"Mr. President, we're in trouble. Talk to us about blood and sweat and tears."

"If you lead, Mr. President, we will follow."

Many people talked about themselves and about the condition of our nation.

This from a young woman in Pennsylvania: "I feel so far from government. I feel like ordinary people are excluded from political power."

And this from a young Chicano: "Some of us have suffered from recession all our lives."

"Some people have wasted energy, but others haven't had anything to waste."

And this from a religious leader: "No material shortage can touch the important things like God's love for us or our love for one another."

And I like this one particularly from a black woman who happens to be the mayor of a small Mississippi town: "The big-shots are not the only ones who are important. Remember, you can't sell anything on Wall Street unless someone digs it up somewhere else first."

This kind of summarized a lot of other statements: "Mr. President, we are confronted with a moral and a spiritual crisis."

Several of our discussions were on energy, and I have a notebook full of comments and advice. I'll read just a few.

"We can't go on consuming 40 percent more energy than we produce. When we import oil we are also importing inflation plus unemployment."

"We've got to use what we have. The Middle East has only five percent of the world's energy, but the United States has 24 percent."

And this is one of the most vivid statements: "Our neck is stretched over the fence and OPEC has a knife."

"There will be other cartels and other shortages. American wisdom and courage right now can set a path to follow in the future."

This was a good one: "Be bold, Mr. President. We may make mistakes, but we are ready to experiment."

And this one from a labor leader got to the heart of it: "The real issue is freedom. We must deal with the energy problem on a war footing."

And the last that I'll read: "When we enter the moral equivalent of war, Mr. President, don't issue us BB guns."

These ten days confirmed my belief in the decency and the strength and the wisdom of the American people, but it also bore out some of my long-standing concerns about our nation's underlying problems.

I know, of course, being president, that government actions and legislation can be very important. That's why I've worked hard to put my campaign promises into law -- and I have to admit, with just mixed success. But after listening to the American people I have been reminded again that all the legislation in the world can't fix what's wrong with America. So, I want to speak to you first tonight about a subject even more serious than energy or inflation. I want to talk to you right now about a fundamental threat to American democracy.

I do not mean our political and civil liberties. They will endure. And I do not refer to the outward strength of America, a nation that is at peace tonight everywhere in the world, with unmatched economic power and military might.

The threat is nearly invisible in ordinary ways. It is a crisis of confidence. It is a crisis that strikes at the very heart and soul and spirit of our national will. We can see this crisis in the growing doubt about the meaning of our own lives and in the loss of a unity of purpose for our nation.

The erosion of our confidence in the future is threatening to destroy the social and the political fabric of America.

The confidence that we have always had as a people is not simply some romantic dream or a proverb in a dusty book that we read just on the Fourth of July.

It is the idea which founded our nation and has guided our development as a people. Confidence in the future has supported everything else -- public institutions and private enterprise, our own families, and the very Constitution of the United States. Confidence has defined our course and has served as a link between generations. We've always believed in something called progress. We've always had a faith that the days of our children would be better than our own.

Our people are losing that faith, not only in government itself but in the ability as citizens to serve as the ultimate rulers and shapers of our democracy. As a people we know our past and we are proud of it. Our progress has been part of the living history of America, even the world. We always believed that we were part of a great movement of humanity itself called democracy, involved in the search for freedom, and that belief has always strengthened us in our purpose. But just as we are losing our confidence in the future, we are also beginning to close the door on our past.

In a nation that was proud of hard work, strong families, close-knit communities, and our faith in God, too many of us now tend to worship self-indulgence and consumption. Human identity is no longer defined by what one does, but by what one owns. But we've discovered that owning things and consuming things does not satisfy our longing for meaning. We've learned that piling up material goods cannot fill the emptiness of lives which have no confidence or purpose.

The symptoms of this crisis of the American spirit are all around us. For the first time in the history of our country a majority of our people believe that the next five years will be worse than the past five years. Two-thirds of our people do not even vote. The productivity of American workers is actually dropping, and the willingness of Americans to save for the future has fallen below that of all other people in the Western world.

As you know, there is a growing disrespect for government and for churches and for schools, the news media, and other institutions. This is not a message of happiness or reassurance, but it is the truth and it is a warning.

These changes did not happen overnight. They've come upon us gradually over the last generation, years that were filled with shocks and tragedy.

We were sure that ours was a nation of the ballot, not the bullet, until the murders of John Kennedy and Robert Kennedy and Martin Luther King Jr. We were taught that our armies were always invincible and our causes were always just, only to suffer the agony of Vietnam. We respected the presidency as a place of honor until the shock of Watergate.

We remember when the phrase "sound as a dollar" was an expression of absolute dependability, until ten years of inflation began to shrink our dollar and our savings. We believed that our nation's resources were limitless until 1973, when we had to face a growing dependence on foreign oil.

These wounds are still very deep. They have never been healed. Looking for a way out of this crisis, our people have turned to the Federal government and found it isolated from the mainstream of our nation's life. Washington, D.C., has become an island. The gap between our citizens and our government has never been so wide. The people are looking for honest answers, not easy answers; clear leadership, not false claims and evasiveness and politics as usual.

What you see too often in Washington and elsewhere around the country is a system of government that seems incapable of action. You see a Congress twisted and pulled in every direction by hundreds of well-financed and powerful special interests. You see every extreme position defended to the last vote, almost to the last breath by one unyielding group or another. You often see a balanced and a fair approach that demands sacrifice, a little sacrifice from everyone, abandoned like an orphan without support and without friends.

Often you see paralysis and stagnation and drift. You don't like it, and neither do I. What can we do?

First of all, we must face the truth, and then we can change our course. We simply must have faith in each other, faith in our ability to govern ourselves, and faith in the future of this nation. Restoring that faith and that confidence to America is now the most important task we face. It is a true challenge of this generation of Americans.

One of the visitors to Camp David last week put it this way: "We've got to stop crying and start sweating, stop talking and start walking, stop cursing and start praying. The strength we need will not come from the White House, but from every house in America."

We know the strength of America. We are strong. We can regain our unity. We can regain our confidence. We are the heirs of generations who survived threats much more powerful and awesome than those that challenge us now. Our fathers and mothers were strong men and women who shaped a new society during the Great Depression, who fought world wars, and who carved out a new charter of peace for the world.

We ourselves are the same Americans who just ten years ago put a man on the Moon. We are the generation that dedicated our society to the pursuit of human rights and equality. And we are the generation that will win the war on the energy problem and in that process rebuild the unity and confidence of America.

We are at a turning point in our history. There are two paths to choose. One is a path I've warned about tonight, the path that leads to fragmentation and self-interest. Down that road lies a mistaken idea of freedom, the right to grasp for ourselves some advantage over others. That path would be one of constant conflict between narrow interests ending in chaos and immobility. It is a certain route to failure.

All the traditions of our past, all the lessons of our heritage, all the promises of our future point to another path, the path of common purpose and the restoration of American values. That path leads to true freedom for our nation and ourselves. We can take the first steps down that path as we begin to solve our energy problem.

Energy will be the immediate test of our ability to unite this nation, and it can also be the standard around which we rally. On the battlefield of energy we can win for our nation a new confidence, and we can seize control again of our common destiny.

In little more than two decades we've gone from a position of energy independence to one in which almost half the oil we use comes from foreign countries, at prices that are going through the roof. Our excessive dependence on OPEC has already taken a tremendous toll on our economy and our people. This is the direct cause of the long lines which have made millions of you spend aggravating hours waiting for gasoline. It's a cause of the increased inflation and unemployment that we now face. This intolerable dependence on foreign oil threatens our economic independence and the very security of our nation. The energy crisis is real. It is worldwide. It is a clear and present danger to our nation. These are facts and we simply must face them.

What I have to say to you now about energy is simple and vitally important.

Point one: I am tonight setting a clear goal for the energy policy of the United States. Beginning this moment, this nation will never use more foreign oil than we did in 1977 -- never. From now on, every new addition to our demand for energy will be met from our own production and our own conservation. The generation-long growth in our dependence on foreign oil will be stopped dead in its tracks right now and then reversed as we move through the 1980s, for I am tonight setting the further goal of cutting our dependence on foreign oil by one-half by the end of the next decade -- a saving of over 4-1/2 million barrels of imported oil per day.

Point two: To ensure that we meet these targets, I will use my presidential authority to set import quotas. I'm announcing tonight that for 1979 and 1980, I will forbid the entry into this country of one drop of foreign oil more than these goals allow. These quotas will ensure a reduction in imports even below the ambitious levels we set at the recent Tokyo summit.

Point three: To give us energy security, I am asking for the most massive peacetime commitment of funds and resources in our nation's history to develop America's own alternative sources of fuel -- from coal, from oil shale, from plant products for gasohol, from unconventional gas, from the sun.

I propose the creation of an energy security corporation to lead this effort to replace 2-1/2 million barrels of imported oil per day by 1990. The corporation I will issue up to $5 billion in energy bonds, and I especially want them to be in small denominations so that average Americans can invest directly in America's energy security.

Just as a similar synthetic rubber corporation helped us win World War II, so will we mobilize American determination and ability to win the energy war. Moreover, I will soon submit legislation to Congress calling for the creation of this nation's first solar bank, which will help us achieve the crucial goal of 20 percent of our energy coming from solar power by the year 2000.

These efforts will cost money, a lot of money, and that is why Congress must enact the windfall profits tax without delay. It will be money well spent. Unlike the billions of dollars that we ship to foreign countries to pay for foreign oil, these funds will be paid by Americans to Americans. These funds will go to fight, not to increase, inflation and unemployment.

Point four: I'm asking Congress to mandate, to require as a matter of law, that our nation's utility companies cut their massive use of oil by 50 percent within the next decade and switch to other fuels, especially coal, our most abundant energy source.

Point five: To make absolutely certain that nothing stands in the way of achieving these goals, I will urge Congress to create an energy mobilization board which, like the War Production Board in World War II, will have the responsibility and authority to cut through the red tape, the delays, and the endless roadblocks to completing key energy projects.

We will protect our environment. But when this nation critically needs a refinery or a pipeline, we will build it.

Point six: I'm proposing a bold conservation program to involve every state, county, and city and every average American in our energy battle. This effort will permit you to build conservation into your homes and your lives at a cost you can afford.

I ask Congress to give me authority for mandatory conservation and for standby gasoline rationing. To further conserve energy, I'm proposing tonight an extra $10 billion over the next decade to strengthen our public transportation systems. And I'm asking you for your good and for your nation's security to take no unnecessary trips, to use carpools or public transportation whenever you can, to park your car one extra day per week, to obey the speed limit, and to set your thermostats to save fuel. Every act of energy conservation like this is more than just common sense -- I tell you it is an act of patriotism.

Our nation must be fair to the poorest among us, so we will increase aid to needy Americans to cope with rising energy prices. We often think of conservation only in terms of sacrifice. In fact, it is the most painless and immediate way of rebuilding our nation's strength. Every gallon of oil each one of us saves is a new form of production. It gives us more freedom, more confidence, that much more control over our own lives.

So, the solution of our energy crisis can also help us to conquer the crisis of the spirit in our country. It can rekindle our sense of unity, our confidence in the future, and give our nation and all of us individually a new sense of purpose.

You know we can do it. We have the natural resources. We have more oil in our shale alone than several Saudi Arabias. We have more coal than any nation on Earth. We have the world's highest level of technology. We have the most skilled work force, with innovative genius, and I firmly believe that we have the national will to win this war.

I do not promise you that this struggle for freedom will be easy. I do not promise a quick way out of our nation's problems, when the truth is that the only way out is an all-out effort. What I do promise you is that I will lead our fight, and I will enforce fairness in our struggle, and I will ensure honesty. And above all, I will act. We can manage the short-term shortages more effectively and we will, but there are no short-term solutions to our long-range problems. There is simply no way to avoid sacrifice.

Twelve hours from now I will speak again in Kansas City, to expand and to explain further our energy program. Just as the search for solutions to our energy shortages has now led us to a new awareness of our Nation's deeper problems, so our willingness to work for those solutions in energy can strengthen us to attack those deeper problems.

I will continue to travel this country, to hear the people of America. You can help me to develop a national agenda for the 1980s. I will listen and I will act. We will act together. These were the promises I made three years ago, and I intend to keep them.

Little by little we can and we must rebuild our confidence. We can spend until we empty our treasuries, and we may summon all the wonders of science. But we can succeed only if we tap our greatest resources -- America's people, America's values, and America's confidence.

I have seen the strength of America in the inexhaustible resources of our people. In the days to come, let us renew that strength in the struggle for an energy secure nation.

In closing, let me say this: I will do my best, but I will not do it alone. Let your voice be heard. Whenever you have a chance, say something good about our country. With God's help and for the sake of our nation, it is time for us to join hands in America. Let us commit ourselves together to a rebirth of the American spirit. Working together with our common faith we cannot fail.

Thank you and good night."

Take heart, friends. This is not the first difficult time, nor shall it be the last--and Our God is faithful.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

midterms


Well, it's that time of year again, friends...

and I am praying for you.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

"I had Some Trouble with the Scissors"


Halloween is coming. Costumes can be tricky, as Charlie Brown demonstrates here when he made his ghost costume and had some trouble with the scissors. Please, ask an adult for assistance before using sharp tools.

Good Luck!

Don't forget to wait for the Great Pumpkin!

Monday, September 29, 2008

Blessing

Dear Readers,

At last I can write you and give good news instead of depressing. I have a job! I had an interview last week at WES Health Services, a behavioral health provider based in Philadelphia. The interview itself only lasted 30 minutes, at the end of which my interviewer offered me the sole open English-speaking position. I deliberated for a day or two, and then called her and accepted! The salary is good, has benefits and a retirement package, and now I only await HR calling me in to fill out paperwork and do background checks.

Praise the Lord.

I cannot tell you how this journey has unsettled and burdened me throughout the summer. I felt lost, wandering about without a compass. Even in saying that I am aware of the contradiction inherent in the statement, because it is the Lord who guides and directs our steps. I only need to see so far in front of me, but my heart yearns to peer further into the future. Now that I have a general idea of my next step, I feel that I can begin to prepare to take it. I felt as though my life were on pause throughout this past season, and now the Lord has seen fit to hit "play" once more. I look forward to seeing what the next few scenes are like! What could He be doing?

And yet...part of me is surprised at my current mental state. I am still the same I was last week; no miraculous maturation occurred overnight. I am not as grown as I thought I was (you are not surprised to hear this, but I was surprised to realize it). I am still the child I have always been, only now I have greater responsibility. My life was not "fixed" by getting a job. Ha! Fancy that! Objectively speaking, I never expected it to, but part of me supposed that I would change. Really now, it is the Lord who changes hearts; how could I possibly believe otherwise?

Praise the Lord.

"The secret mysteries belong to You;
We only know what You reveal.
And all my questions that are unresolved
Don't change the wisdom of Your will."

Praise the Lord.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

On Insufficiency

I get the feeling that this has been the theme of the past few months for me. The Lord is clearly teaching me my dependence upon Him. It is uncomfortable. The season following graduation from WTS has in no way been what I'd expected; then again, I don't know what I expected, so how can I be disappointed? What I find is that now, with the majority of my friends back in school, my strings have been cut and I don't quite know which direction the Lord is now taking me. The things that used to structure my life no longer apply, and the Lord wants me to find my support and balance in Him. I know this.

It would be one thing if what my life comprised of previously were simply to vanish and be replaced by something new. This is not necessarily the case. I still have lingering bits and pieces of my student life, I still have the same friends and want to return to my old haunts, but I feel out of place there. Even more, the new challenges I am currently facing leave me feeling completely unprepared and insufficient. Hence this post, asking for prayer. I need wisdom in how to proceed.

Currently, I am working part-time with my Shepherding Pastor at New Life Glenside church, and he is referring me to cases of young(ish) women who are on the fringes of the congregation and needing encouraging and discipling. That is where my job begins, but where it goes remains to be seen. One of my persons of interest poses a particular challenge to me, in that she seems to not only be struggling with mental health matters, but personal and difficult spiritual ones as well. Facing all of this at once makes me feel panicky and pretty much want to run in the opposite direction--until I feel the Lord pulling on my heart and calling me back to Him. I know what He desires me to do, but I cannot see how He could possibly use me, or want to use me, in this situation. The beliefs held by this particular woman are decidedly different from mine, though she counts herself as Christian, and while she respects me and knows that I work for the church, she does not seem open to whatever small truths I try to offer her. I wonder how I can encourage her if the very basis of my own encouragement is disagreeable to her? If, for example, when I said today that her very awareness of her own struggle with the Lord is encouraging because it evidences the work of the spirit, she says "I don't know what I think of that," how can I respond? With patience and grace, I know. It makes me angry when she says her mother was, on our first meeting, testing me to see what kind of knowledge of the Scripture and of the Lord I had. It confuses and scares me when she tells me that someone is like Paul in the flesh, and that it is ok for them to make people uncomfortable because Paul and the other Apostles made people uncomfortable. It saddens me when she says that she will never know Jesus the way other people do, or that she is sick because she does not have enough faith. It worries me when she tells me that she needs to find the root cause of her illness now, while she is young, because if she doesn't it will cause further damage later in life. These things may have elements of truth in them, yes, but some of them are just plain wrong. Am I gentle enough to respond well? As Christ would, in truth and love, not over-emphasizing either?

Monday, June 9, 2008

Miscellaneous News...

...or the lack thereof!

My missions trip to London has been pushed up by a few days, and is now from June 19-29. Please continue praying for our team, as we get to know each other, and as we struggle to raise the last of our support money. Many Thanks to those of you who have contributed, and to those who haven't, please consider doing so! I will be leading worship for the trip, so pray that I do not get sick while there and that my guitar does not get damaged, lost, or stolen. That would be terrible.

In other news, I have now had a Masters degree for 2 1/2 weeks and still have no job. I have had various and sundry interviews, but no offers yet. I beg your continued prayers for the Lord to open the right door(s) and close the wrong one(s). I am so thankful for the encouragement my friends, family, and church has offered me...I know the Lord will provide, but How Long?

Where Gas Prices are Hitting

here is an interesting tidbit from the NYTimes.com...


http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2008/06/09/business/20080609_GAS_GRAPHIC.html

Friday, May 16, 2008

my church has a sense of humour


...and scruples, thankfully.

Sunday, May 4, 2008

London Update

For those of you who may be interested, we had a team meeting tonight. We got a temporary itinerary, and things look good; we're going to be all over the "little India" of London and should have a day and a half off to see the city!
also...

Dave Goneau [team leader]: "Ok, so in the mornings we're going to have breakfast from 8.00-9.00 and then worship, which Rebecca will be leading even though I didn't email her back to tell her."

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Jon Foreman

Is the lead singer from Switchfoot, who recently started releasing solo EP's based on the seasons...thus far he has Fall, Winter, and Spring. His vocal quality has really improved over the past years, and his solo stuff is really mellow and acoustic and delicious. Here's a sample of some of his lyrics...

"She said, "Friend,
All along-
Thought I was learning how to take
How to bend not how to break
How to live not how to cry
But really
I've been learning how to die
I've been learning how to die"
-Learning How to Die

"Oh, I guess they'll say I've grown
I know more than I wanted to know
I've said more than I wanted to say

I'm heading home
Yeah, but I'm not so sure
That home is a place
You can still get to by train ."
-Southbound Train

"Heavenly Father
You always amaze me
Let your kingdom come
In my world and in my life
You give me the food I need
To live through the day
And forgive me as I forgive
The people that wronged me
Lead me far from temptation
Deliver me from the evil one

I look out the window
The birds are composing
Not a note is out of tune
Or out of place
I look at the meadow
And stare at the flowers
Better dressed than any girl
On her wedding day."
-Your Love is Strong

Friday, April 25, 2008

job-searching


stinks.

no really.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Coming of Age on Antidepressants



I stumbled across this article today in NYTimes.com. It raises some very interesting questions about the recent phenomenon of people being medicated (here, specifically for depression) since childhood and early adolescence. This is certainly something that requires redress, particularly if these people are medicated during crucial periods of development. How are we to gain a sure sense of identity if we have always been chemically enhanced? And what role does Christ play in this? This article is secular (naturally), but seeing as this very well could be a counseling issue, it is worth considering. It also forces us to consider the role of medication in our lives--do we view them as panaceas, cures, saviors? Tools, steps, helpers? Is this balanced within the Christian worldview? Are we identifying more with our psychological (medical, physical &c.) state than with Christ? Don't misunderstand me--I am not opposed to psychopharmacology. What I am opposed to is seeing it as the only way to "get better," "feel better," or "beat____". This leaves no room for Christ or dependence or trust in Him. Medication is merited if there is no way to progress or grow in our relationship with Him without medical intervention. I see it as a sometimes necessary tool during psychological trial, not as the cure-all that secular psychologists and drug developers set them forth as. Those of you who know me well know that I do not say this in ignorance of the very real impact of mental illness on daily life, so I apologize if this sounds insensitive.

Monday, April 14, 2008

Psalm 49 and Understanding


another encouraging bit of Scripture from class, courtesy of Dr. Powlison.

"Hear this, all peoples!
Give ear, all inhabitants of the world,
both low and high,
rich and poor together!
My mouth shall speak wisdom;
the meditation of my heart shall be understanding.
I will incline my ear to a proverb;
I will solve my riddle to the music of the lyre.

Why should I fear in times of trouble,
when the iniquity of those who cheat me surrounds me,
those who trust in their wealth
and boast of the abundance of their riches?
Truly no man can ransom another,
or give to God the price of his life,
for the ransom of their life is costly
and can never suffice,
that he should live on forever
and never see the pit.

For he sees that even the wise die;
the fool and the stupid alike must perish
and leave their wealth to others.
Their graves are their homes forever,
their dwelling places to all generations,
though they called lands by their own names.
Man in his pomp will not remain;
he is like the beasts that perish.


This is the path of those who have foolish confidence;
yet after them people approve of their boasts. Selah
Like sheep they are appointed for Sheol;
death shall be their shepherd,
and the upright shall rule over them in the morning.
Their form shall be consumed in Sheol, with no place to dwell.
But God will ransom my soul from the power of Sheol,
for he will receive me. Selah


Be not afraid when a man becomes rich,
when the glory of his house increases.
For when he dies he will carry nothing away;
his glory will not go down after him.
For though, while he lives, he counts himself blessed
—and though you get praise when you do well for yourself—
his soul will go to the generation of his fathers,
who will never again see light.
Man in his pomp yet without understanding is like the beasts that perish."

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Former Days

For my English Bible Class (for those of us who failed the exam), I am forced to skim the entire Bible over the course of the semester. Normally you hear me whine and complain about the assigned work, but today, as I was reading Ecclesiastes, I ran across a passage that seemed both poignant and encouraging, particularly considering the events at Westminster during the past few days and weeks.

"Better is the end of a thing than its beginning, and the patient in spirit is better than the proud in spirit.
Be not quick in your spirit to become angry, for anger lodges in the bosom of fools.
Say not, "Why were the former days better than these?" for it is not from wisdom that you ask this.
Wisdom is good with an inheritance, an advantage to those who see the sun.
For the protection of wisdom is like the protection of money, and the advantage of knowledge is that wisdom preserves the life of him who has it.
Consider the work of God:
who can make straight what He has made crooked?"

-Ecclesiastes 7.8-13

We should all be finding out hope, encouragement, support and identity in the One who is unchanging and unchangeable. Even if a thing seems to be reflecting His character at a time, it too suffers from the fallibility and sinfulness of man.

Friday, March 28, 2008

my poor schools...

they are suffering. most of you know that a few months ago, William & Mary told its president that they weren't renewing his contract. so he quit mid-semester. I never liked him anyways. (but still, this caused controversy and dissension)
and now, Westminster is having difficulties. for those of you who are not following what's happened, here's the recent email we all received from the Chairman of our Board:

"March 27, 2008

Thank you very much for your prayers for the special meeting of the Board of Trustees that was held on March 26 to address the disunity of the faculty regarding the theological issues related to Dr. Peter Enns’ book, Inspiration and Incarnation: Evangelicals and the Problem of the Old Testament. After a full day of deliberation, the Board of Trustees took the following action by decisive vote:

“That for the good of the Seminary (Faculty Manual II.4.C.4) Professor Peter Enns be suspended at the close of this school year, that is May 23, 2008 (Constitution Article III, Section 15), and that the Institutional Personnel Committee (IPC) recommend the appropriate process for the Board to consider whether Professor Enns should be terminated from his employment at the Seminary. Further that the IPC present their recommendations to the Board at its meeting in May 2008.”

In order to provide the entire Westminster community with a more complete understanding of the Board’s decision and to offer an opportunity for questions and dialogue, the Chairman and Secretary of the Board will join the President on campus for a special chapel on Tuesday, April 1 at 10:30 am. Students and staff are encouraged to attend and participate. Following that special chapel, they will hold a separate meeting with the faculty.
Our concern is to honor the Lord Jesus Christ and assure a faithful witness for Westminster for years to come. To that end, please pray for everyone involved during the next two months."

please pray for this situation, friends.

Monday, March 10, 2008

London, Darling!




My church up here in PA is sending a missions team to London this summer from June 21-29, and yours truly is part of the team! Huzzah! We will be working with World Harvest Missions in Southall, London, primarily ministering to British Asians (or Indians, as we call them in the States). While I don't have a lot of details to share with you all yet, I do know that we will be doing mostly evangelistic work, from street and door-to-door evangelism to working book-tables and whatnot. Kids will still be in school, but there is the possibility of us teaching during the allotted time in each school-day for 'religion.'
I'll keep you posted as I learn more; keep a weather eye on your mailboxes for more information! For now, I ask you to pray that the Lord would prepare the hearts of the team and for us to raise enough support for the trip.


New Words




So, friends, it appears that my naturally nerdy tendencies have taken a new and interesting twist; I have taken to looking up and writing down new words that I read or hear from day-to-day. I've decided that it's only fair to share this newfound interest with my faithful (?) blog-readers...hence, I'll post the occasional new word and its definition here, for your edification! enjoy.

prevaricate: to speak evasively
adduce: to cite as evidence

Friday, February 8, 2008

surrender

Here is an interesting article I found on nytimes.com; it caught my eye because I suffer occasional migraines and thought the author might have something to say. What she did say, however, surprised me. It appears to be a secularized version of the surrender we, as Christians, are called to give to God's will...

http://migraine.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/02/07/arms-at-rest/

Thursday, January 24, 2008

how interesting...

I was bored in class this evening, so I decided to use the time wisely by doing some online quizzes to determine which LOST character I am. The first one I took said I was Mr. Eko. The second said I was Boone. Those of you familiar with the show will see the irony.

Thursday, January 10, 2008

My New Favorite Author


I must admit, it is rare that I've fallen in love with an author as quickly as I have with Dietrich Bonhoeffer. It usually takes me a few weeks or at least a few books of reading before I become completely enamored with what one person has to say on a subject. Not so with Bonhoeffer. Perhaps it is because I, like an insane person, am taking 4 credits during winter term. Perhaps it is because I am simultaneously working and interning at NLGlenside. Either way, I am blazing through books faster than I have since I started here at Westminster. Happily, this did not detract from my enjoyment or my edification from Bonhoeffer's book "Life Together." Almost as soon as I began reading, I realized that this book was packed with things I wanted to reference and remember. I was *underlining*. I am not always an underliner, but with "Life Together" it was an imperative. And since reading it on Sunday, I must have referenced it at least 4 times, all in different scenarios and situations--not even explicitly Christian settings, which I think is a mark of true versatility of an author, if their content can transpose contexts. The very fact that what he wrote has been on my brain all week also testifies to the merit of his work.

If you have not had the opportunity to read Bonhoeffer, I would say that "Life Together" is a good start. And if you have, and you have any suggestions on what I should read next, please let me know!