chiaroscuro

I am not quite sure why some thoughts come at night. Perhaps I do. It is late, it is quiet (because all normal people are in bed or in bed), and the flurry of activity from the day has subsided and we are left with our thoughts. I have my tea, the rain, and here are my thoughts.

This world is fallen. I get to see a lot of that now working at WES, working with people whose lives and hearts are darkened, whose minds have been blinded to the light of the Gospel and the glory of Christ. It is these we are called to most to preach to--these who are perishing. The question remains how to not lose heart when confronted with such darkness and to whom our Gospel is veiled. How can we shine with the light of Christ when we feel the darkness creeping in ourselves? When we are such fragile jars of clay, and when the reality of this world feels crushing.

2 Corinthians 4. To show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us--we who are hard pressed, perplexed, persecuted, and struck down. We are also not crushed, not in despair, not abandoned, and not destroyed. How can we, as weak and sinful people, hold these two truths in balance? How do we not lose hope--how can we be realistic about the world, see it for what it is, and not lose heart?

With the spirit of faith, Paul tells us. We both believe and speak. Not because we understand, or because we *feel* hopeful, but because we cling to the Truth and know that nothing besides it is steadfast. Because we know that the One who raised the Lord Jesus from the dead will also raise us with Jesus and present us with you in His presence. All this for your benefit, so that the Grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God.

All this for our benefit? At the moment, the benefits seem to be outweighed by the pain of this world. The sin that runs rampant. The trials that we see every day and are helpless to stop or alleviate. Thankfully, neither Jesus nor His apostle denies this reality--they address it. "Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all."

If we think about it, this has amazing potential. As pressing as our current troubles seem to us now, if they are light and momentary when taken in contrast to the eternal glory that awaits us--what Glory that will be! If it makes us look back and feel like it was worth it, that it was fleeting and purposeful, that indeed merits our hope. The difficulty lies in remembering this truth in the midst of suffering. Clinging to not what we can feel, what is tangible, but what has enduring truth. And the endlessly frustrating part of this is that there is precious little we can do to get to that place ourselves. All we are capable is crying "Abba, Father!" and trusting that He hears the words our groans fail to express. I find the hardest thing is seeing other people suffer and feeling helpless to intercede. I can trust for myself, but trusting for others--particularly when they are not reaching out in trust--the most difficult of trials.

So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. This holds so much weight, but when the weight lies in the unseen it can be hard to feel. When all we see is the weight of sin and depravity, we have to cling to the light of the Gospel that much more tightly because there is nothing left to cling to. Our present, sinful, fallen and dark reality is temporary. It is. We may *feel* crushed, abandoned, destroyed and in despair. But we have a Savior who is more trustworthy and more powerful than the way we feel, and goodness knows our hearts are easily blinded. We even choose to pull the veil over them because that is easier to believe. Jesus never promised that things would be easy, or painless, or free of trial. He is straight with us, and He meets difficulty with light and hope in Him. Indeed, if He could be raised from the dead, is there anything He can't do? Can He not meet that person's heart, stubborn and hard as it may be, and soften it? Hallelujah, He can. And He does. And that is why we do not lose hope. That is how we can have Realistic Hope, for ourselves and for others. We see the world for what it truly is, and *know* (not just feel) that the eternal unseen and the glory we will have there outweighs it. Praise Him.