i am a disciple of...?

which school? am i a Westminster student or CCEF student? i can't decide if i fit in either box. i don't think i am academic/theological/philosophical enough for WTS, and yet i don't know if i am a gung-ho supporter of CCEF as a movement.
i suppose i feel that CCEF has elevated their view of Biblical Counseling to Gospel status, that it alone is the way and the truth [of Counseling]. which is ironic, considering the Biblical Counseling model is all about pointing people back to Christ and Scripture to guide counseling. don't get me wrong, i think that Biblical Counseling *is* the best counseling field out there, i suppose i just get tired of hearing professors talk about how we are the only ones thinking about these things.
at the same time, i seriously cannot keep up in theological discussions. it is very stretching for me to be in them, granted, but i am simply not that well-read and the contributions i make to the conversations always seem [to me] to be trite and cliché...and unhelpful. however, i don't want all of my friends to be in the exact same bubble as me or completely like-minded to me.
given all of this, i think that the MA program probably gives the best balance of these two schools; the problem with this "balance" is that i do not feel fully integrated into either of them. i feel a tension between them and it is acutely uncomfortable. where do i belong? i go from wondering what hole in the ground some of my fellow counseling students have been living in [hearing some of the comments made in class] to feeling like the least educated person on the planet in theology classes and debates.
i am well aware of how my pride is playing into this. i *want* to be intelligent and educated, but i also have a counseling heart. that is why i chose to follow the call and move up to PA for this grad program. despite of, or perhaps because of this, i am frustrated when i find that some things are not up to my expectations or standards.
so can i be both? can i be at least moderately well-educated *and* a counseling student? or does studying counseling mash me into the box of being soft and humanistic?

i find it all boils down to this: whom do i choose to be a disciple of? easy question: i am a disciple of Jesus. how does this translate into my everyday life? i find this to be a general question for me right now. a lot of things that i never suspected would change *are* changing, and it is literally rocking my world. i haven't yet decided if these rockings are good ones, but they are certainly shaking things up and making me rely on the One who can calm the waves with a word--and that is not me. sometimes i wish it were me. sometimes.