last week of classes

how on earth do you people have time to blog this week? i *must* be doing something wrong.

then again, i rather enjoy the solidarity of having last-week-of-classes meltdowns in the westminster parking lot with friends.

dilemma

i have one. please pray for its resolve, friends.
and that's all i have to say about that.

what makes a church

i go to New Life Northeast, and my church is hurting. our senior pastor has accepted a call to be the assistant pastor at Trinity Pres in Norfolk, Virginia. he said "no" when they first asked him, and then continued to say "no" for two months. he and his wife April asked the Lord to close this door if it wasn't where He wanted them, and when the door didn't close they began to prayerfully consider. after a few more months, Bob accepted the position.
what makes a church? is it the pastor? the worship style? the location? the size of the building? i would say: none of the above. however, this is especially difficult for NLNE because last year was very hard for the congregation; i don't know specifics, but i know there were great injuries suffered to both Bob and April. i find this hard personally because my church and church family is one thing i did *not* expect to change while living in PA for grad school. now what? where do we go from here? to answer my own question, from here we go wherever the Lord leads us. we had a church family meeting this morning instead of sunday school, and we discussed this. basically, we concluded that things are going to be awkward but the Lord truly is faithful, so we can and will and must depend on Him. the Rainsford family is leaving today to continue missions in Kenya, and Mrs. Rainsford confessed that her life has become more complicated since being in the missions field, but that the Lord uses the trials in our life to make our faith in Him stronger. this doesn't the trials easier, but it helps us to understand that they have a purpose. we are simply to immersed in the present situation to see the purpose(s) right now.
pray for Bob and his family.
pray for our congregation to pull itself together to rely on the Lord alone.
pray for the westminster students who need to decide how to remain faithful to Christ in the midst of this.

i am a disciple of...?

which school? am i a Westminster student or CCEF student? i can't decide if i fit in either box. i don't think i am academic/theological/philosophical enough for WTS, and yet i don't know if i am a gung-ho supporter of CCEF as a movement.
i suppose i feel that CCEF has elevated their view of Biblical Counseling to Gospel status, that it alone is the way and the truth [of Counseling]. which is ironic, considering the Biblical Counseling model is all about pointing people back to Christ and Scripture to guide counseling. don't get me wrong, i think that Biblical Counseling *is* the best counseling field out there, i suppose i just get tired of hearing professors talk about how we are the only ones thinking about these things.
at the same time, i seriously cannot keep up in theological discussions. it is very stretching for me to be in them, granted, but i am simply not that well-read and the contributions i make to the conversations always seem [to me] to be trite and cliché...and unhelpful. however, i don't want all of my friends to be in the exact same bubble as me or completely like-minded to me.
given all of this, i think that the MA program probably gives the best balance of these two schools; the problem with this "balance" is that i do not feel fully integrated into either of them. i feel a tension between them and it is acutely uncomfortable. where do i belong? i go from wondering what hole in the ground some of my fellow counseling students have been living in [hearing some of the comments made in class] to feeling like the least educated person on the planet in theology classes and debates.
i am well aware of how my pride is playing into this. i *want* to be intelligent and educated, but i also have a counseling heart. that is why i chose to follow the call and move up to PA for this grad program. despite of, or perhaps because of this, i am frustrated when i find that some things are not up to my expectations or standards.
so can i be both? can i be at least moderately well-educated *and* a counseling student? or does studying counseling mash me into the box of being soft and humanistic?

i find it all boils down to this: whom do i choose to be a disciple of? easy question: i am a disciple of Jesus. how does this translate into my everyday life? i find this to be a general question for me right now. a lot of things that i never suspected would change *are* changing, and it is literally rocking my world. i haven't yet decided if these rockings are good ones, but they are certainly shaking things up and making me rely on the One who can calm the waves with a word--and that is not me. sometimes i wish it were me. sometimes.

birthdays!

this is a post to celebrate two dear friends: Denise Malagari and Mike Van Gilst. Denise's birthday was sunday and Mike's is today.
happy birthday, friends!
we love you!

Haiku for Girl Scout Cookies

Girl Scout Cookies--yum!
thin mints straight from the freezer...
quite delectable.
:)

open windows

this year was my first "northern" winter; i've lived in VA since i was 5 and the weather is milder down there. i don't even think that this winter was necessarily a bad one, but it's certainly been colder and snowier than i'm used to. and i must say, the cold and the shorter days have made me yearn for the coming of spring in a way i haven't before-- perhaps i forget every year how much i enjoy seeing the new life of spring, the renewal, the freshness and color of it. the latter is more likely; in the same way, i forget my desperate need of Grace because i get used to the dark and the coldness of the human heart in its sinful state. i think it is a wonderful design of God's to create the seasons in such a way as to remind us every spring of the blessing of Grace He has bestowed upon us. and so today i am studying and i have my bedroom windows open, enjoying the fresh air after last night's rain.