an update

here is more information, as Jayne's story unfolds...

please continue to pray, friends.

Jayne McGowan

1981-2007





her story

midterms

dear friends, I am praying for you.

cheer up

"cheer up, you are worse off than you figure
but you are loved anyway and I always see who you could be...

"All the stars are waiting for you to shine
and your heart is beating to find its home in mine.

"stand up, you are stronger than you figure
you just need to be surrounded by those who believe in you.

"All the stars are waiting for you to shine
and your heart is beating to find its home in mine.

"you've got to know I won't throw stones your way
All Creation waits...
oh, for you to take your place, take your place.

"wake up, it's time to dream bigger.
wake up, it's time."

I stumbled across this old 10 Shekel Shirt album, "Risk," and this song particularly stood out to me. I think because a bunch of us are in the same boat--not really knowing what the future holds, but knowing that the Lord holds it in the palm of His hand. I also remember visiting WTS last spring for the first time and a certain pair of roommates encouraging me by saying "cheer up, you're worse than you think!" counterintuitive, but very encouraging on second thought. really, if the Lord still accepts us even though He knows the depths of our sin--which we are not aware of--what is there to doubt? what is there to fear?
I am also struck by the finiteness of my imagination. He promises more than we could ask or even imagine--what does this look like? I don't even know! If He has plans for us that are better and bigger than what we imagine for ourselves, we have cause for some real excitement.

why I love fall

when else can you do fun things like this?

the sun came through the clouds

this morning while I was driving home from work... I was waiting at a stoplight in front of Enfield Elementary as the kiddies ran across the crosswalk...and then the sun came out and I had to put on my sunglasses. I was listening to Sufjan's "Chicago (Adult Contemporary Easy Listening Version)." it was a lovely moment.
below, a photo I took during a rock climbing trip in college.

moments like these make me contemplative, and often remind me of things I've heard or studied before. what comes to mind is the hymn "Beams of Heaven," particularly the Indelible Grace version.

"Oftentimes my sky is clear,
joy abounds without a tear;
though a day so bright begun,
clouds may hide tomorrow's sun.

There'll be a day that's always bright,
a day that never yields to night,
and in its light the streets of glory
I shall behold someday.
I shall behold someday."

I confess impatience when the Lord asks me to wait. Those streets of glory sound so good...oftentimes I would much rather be there than here. And then He surprises me with little things like sunlight, or a cool night's walk, or a word of encouragement from a friend. I was just talking with someone about how we get frustrated with the seeming chaos of the world we live in. But the world is not as chaotic as we may think it to be...it is in fact quite ordered, ordered by a God who has the grand plan in mind. Besides, in a world that is completely unpredictable, how are we then surprised by things? No. the fact that the Lord planned things makes surprises possible...and welcome.

Not Abstractions, But Epics

I spent a lot of time last year wondering what it was about Biblical Theology that I resonated with so strongly. It seemed to spend a lot of time on the forefront of my mind, and I remember bringing it up several times during my homegroup from NLNE church. But it was not until the other night during our first Human Personality class that it finally hit me in full force.
We were discussing (or rather, being lectured at by Ed Welch, whom I think I will enjoy) the different ways to approach theology and how to make it relevant in the personal or the counseling realm. I really do enjoy learning theology and discussing it with friends, but many times I feel that this sort of discussion can actually prevent "real" conversation with people and I come away intellectually stimulated, to be sure, but also feeling that I don't know my friends any better because of it.
We hit upon using Biblical theological themes, as does the Westminster Confession, to access what the Bible has to say about people. Many times our theology is left in abstract or schematic forms, and this makes it extremely difficult to relate to and resonate with on a personal spiritual level. Granted, we may be academically enlightened, but how can we make the jump from the head to the heart? My pastor in Virginia used to say that the longest distance in the human body is the 18" from the head to the heart. Too true! Biblical Theology has something that resonates...a methodology that we find ourselves already using in daily life. Why shouldn't we harness that and put it to use? We spend our days listening to the stories of people's lives. In the counseling setting this is emphasized even more. This is why Biblical Theology has an inherent comprehensibility to it...it is taking what we know and using it to know not only the people around us, but the work of God as well. This is not a foreign concept for humans, and I think that it testifies to the brilliance of God and His planning for us; that He would take something that we do every day and make it a means for knowing Him more...! Awesome.
This also helps us feel connected with God. One thing that we struggle with (myself included) is feeling that God is somehow distant or that we aren't attached because we can't actually *see* Him on a day-to-day basis. But if we take what we learn in BT and apply it, seeing the entire Bible as a cohesive and coherent story, it's not too much of a leap to see how our own personal stories are simply an extension of that overarching narrative.
This changes the face of having "purpose" in our lives, of feeling that we are wasting our time on selfish endeavors. What would it look like for us to live on a daily basis knowing that our stories were all part and parcel to the Lord's metanarrative for this world? I have no idea! But it would be pretty spectacular, I can tell you that. So that is my challenge to myself and to all you who will take me up on it: don't lose sight of the Big Picture...instead, keep in sight the reality of God's continuing work in this world, in our lives. He is not finished with us yet. This extraordinary history is only culminated in Jesus Christ, and until He returns, there is much to be done.