why I love fall

when else can you do fun things like this?

the sun came through the clouds

this morning while I was driving home from work... I was waiting at a stoplight in front of Enfield Elementary as the kiddies ran across the crosswalk...and then the sun came out and I had to put on my sunglasses. I was listening to Sufjan's "Chicago (Adult Contemporary Easy Listening Version)." it was a lovely moment.
below, a photo I took during a rock climbing trip in college.

moments like these make me contemplative, and often remind me of things I've heard or studied before. what comes to mind is the hymn "Beams of Heaven," particularly the Indelible Grace version.

"Oftentimes my sky is clear,
joy abounds without a tear;
though a day so bright begun,
clouds may hide tomorrow's sun.

There'll be a day that's always bright,
a day that never yields to night,
and in its light the streets of glory
I shall behold someday.
I shall behold someday."

I confess impatience when the Lord asks me to wait. Those streets of glory sound so good...oftentimes I would much rather be there than here. And then He surprises me with little things like sunlight, or a cool night's walk, or a word of encouragement from a friend. I was just talking with someone about how we get frustrated with the seeming chaos of the world we live in. But the world is not as chaotic as we may think it to be...it is in fact quite ordered, ordered by a God who has the grand plan in mind. Besides, in a world that is completely unpredictable, how are we then surprised by things? No. the fact that the Lord planned things makes surprises possible...and welcome.

Not Abstractions, But Epics

I spent a lot of time last year wondering what it was about Biblical Theology that I resonated with so strongly. It seemed to spend a lot of time on the forefront of my mind, and I remember bringing it up several times during my homegroup from NLNE church. But it was not until the other night during our first Human Personality class that it finally hit me in full force.
We were discussing (or rather, being lectured at by Ed Welch, whom I think I will enjoy) the different ways to approach theology and how to make it relevant in the personal or the counseling realm. I really do enjoy learning theology and discussing it with friends, but many times I feel that this sort of discussion can actually prevent "real" conversation with people and I come away intellectually stimulated, to be sure, but also feeling that I don't know my friends any better because of it.
We hit upon using Biblical theological themes, as does the Westminster Confession, to access what the Bible has to say about people. Many times our theology is left in abstract or schematic forms, and this makes it extremely difficult to relate to and resonate with on a personal spiritual level. Granted, we may be academically enlightened, but how can we make the jump from the head to the heart? My pastor in Virginia used to say that the longest distance in the human body is the 18" from the head to the heart. Too true! Biblical Theology has something that resonates...a methodology that we find ourselves already using in daily life. Why shouldn't we harness that and put it to use? We spend our days listening to the stories of people's lives. In the counseling setting this is emphasized even more. This is why Biblical Theology has an inherent comprehensibility to it...it is taking what we know and using it to know not only the people around us, but the work of God as well. This is not a foreign concept for humans, and I think that it testifies to the brilliance of God and His planning for us; that He would take something that we do every day and make it a means for knowing Him more...! Awesome.
This also helps us feel connected with God. One thing that we struggle with (myself included) is feeling that God is somehow distant or that we aren't attached because we can't actually *see* Him on a day-to-day basis. But if we take what we learn in BT and apply it, seeing the entire Bible as a cohesive and coherent story, it's not too much of a leap to see how our own personal stories are simply an extension of that overarching narrative.
This changes the face of having "purpose" in our lives, of feeling that we are wasting our time on selfish endeavors. What would it look like for us to live on a daily basis knowing that our stories were all part and parcel to the Lord's metanarrative for this world? I have no idea! But it would be pretty spectacular, I can tell you that. So that is my challenge to myself and to all you who will take me up on it: don't lose sight of the Big Picture...instead, keep in sight the reality of God's continuing work in this world, in our lives. He is not finished with us yet. This extraordinary history is only culminated in Jesus Christ, and until He returns, there is much to be done.

We can thank God for Bavarian Sugar Cookies

I spent the evening with Miss Hannah Clark, talking, eating pizza, and watching 'Stranger Than Fiction.' I had seen it before, but she had not, and I had no doubts that she would enjoy it. But it was the last few minutes of the film that proved especially memorable for us. The discussion that ensued was the result of one indelible quotation:

"As Harold took a bite of Bavarian sugar cookie, he finally felt as if everything was going to be ok. Sometimes, when we lose ourselves in fear and despair, in routine and constancy, in hopelessness and tragedy, we can thank God for Bavarian sugar cookies. And, fortunately, when there aren't any cookies, we can still find reassurance in a familiar hand on our skin, or a kind and loving gesture, or subtle encouragement, or a loving embrace, or an offer of comfort, not to mention hospital gurneys and nose plugs, an uneaten Danish, soft-spoken secrets, and Fender Stratocasters, and maybe the occasional piece of fiction. And we must remember that all these things, the nuances, the anomalies, the subtleties, which we assume only accessorize our days, are effective for a much larger and nobler cause. They are here to save our lives. I know the idea seems strange, but I also know that it just so happens to be true. And, so it was, a wristwatch saved Harold Crick."
-Kay Eiffel, Authoress, 'Stranger Than Fiction'

If you have not seen the film, I won't spoil the exact ending. After exclaiming "this movie is classic Mellis. It defines you," Hannah proceeded to open the discussion by relating what Eiffel has to say to Van Tillian apologetics, where we discussed how non-Christians will feel thankful for something in their lives, but they do not realize *to Whom* they are thankful. How sad is that? But it is quite true. And it really is the small things that make up our lives that we need to remember to be thankful for. It is too easy to be thankful for the big things, the miracles, the major provisions and crucial outcomes of events--but what about cookies? wristwatches? hugs? And what about when we find ourselves on the path of long obedience in the same direction, and it appears that nothing will ever wake us from the stupor of the quotidienne--the everyday--what do we do then? Do we muster the energy and the willpower and the emotion to thank God for the simple things that pull us through the day, or do we slump into apathy?
I often find myself in the latter category. On the one hand, I crave the predictable and the comfortable in times of change and trial and insecurity, but when things become too unvarying for my tastes, I yearn for something--almost anything!--to break the cycle.
So what comes from all this? The fact that I...we...are never satisfied. The predictable and the unpredictable will never satisfy, because I (we) are looking for our foundation in them, instead of in the Lord. Because really, He is the only constant in life. I may desire consistency in the midst of shifting sand, but He is the origin of all things miraculous and awesome as well.

And so, Harold Crick may find himself thankful for Bavarian Sugar Cookies, but until that thankfulness leads him to the Lord, there is sadly still much to be desired.

(But this is still an excellent film)

who am i?

i am...
an ENFJ on the myers-briggs test;
Extroverted-iNtuitive-Feeling-Judging...
most like the disney princess Belle;
being strong, deep, and not a slave to petty superficial things; i am (apparently) almost too good of a person...
most like the action hero James Bond;
with my suave style mixed with badass-ness, money and romance is my style...
most like the Saxophone;
being suave and savvy, cooler than the guitar, able to evoke deep emotions in people.

so i am.

what constitutes a "good read"?

let's
find out.